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1. We admitted that we were powerless over the effects of living with alcoholism and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could bring us clarity.

3. We made a decision to practice self-love and to trust a Higher Power of our understanding.

4. We made a searching and blameless inventory of our parents because, in essence, we had become them.

5. We admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our childhood abandonment.

6. We were entirely ready to begin the healing process with the aid of our Higher Power.

7. We humbly asked our Higher Power to help us with our healing process.

8. We became willing to open ourselves to receive the unconditional love of our Higher Power.

9. We became willing to accept our own unconditional love by understanding that our Higher Power loves us unconditionally.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and to love and approve of ourselves.

11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power, praying only for knowledge of its will for us and the power to carry it out.

12. We have had a spiritual awakening as a result of taking these steps, and we continue to love ourselves and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


Step 1: Working
We admit "we are powerless over our THE EFFECTS OF LIVING WITH ALCOHOLISM and our lives have become unmanageable"
Honesty and Letting go.

Step 2: Working
We "show" God as we understand God in whatever way we choose, that we believe. We surrender to God - we are "coming to believe". We are in the SOLUTION to our lives. We listen to God. Surrender.

Step 3: Working
We pray (in whatever way we choose). We are honest about ourselves, we are powerless, we let go, we surrender to God. We imagine the door opening - on the other side is love and light. We make a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God. We become willing to do this! We listen to God. Willing

THIRD STEP PRAYER - "God, I offer myself to you to build with me & to do with me as you will. Please relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of your power, your love and your way of life! May I do your will always."

Step 4: Working
We inventory and write:


From the following list of fears choose up to 4 that apply most in your life. This is not a complete list of fears so feel free to add any more that may apply to your situation.

Humiliation (being laughed at)
Losing Controlled
Opposite Sex
Failure (being wrong or being inadequate)
Losing someone / something we have
Not getting what we need
The Unknown
Loving (giving, accepting)
Evil (lies, manipulation)
Violence (anger)
Justice (punishment, getting caught)
Success (happiness)
Not being believed
Loneliness (being alone)
Certain places (skid row)
Financial insecurity
Heights (flying, bridges)
Spirits (ghosts, demons)
Authority (police, foreman)
The Future
The Past
Commitment (responsibility, marriage)
Not recovering (alcohol, defects of character)
Who I really am
Getting Old
The Dark
Illness, accidents or being disabled
Starting or ending relationships

List the four fears that you have identified and write them down - then describe in your own words why this fear plays a part in your life. How does it affect you and others?

Step 5: Working

Write out our "defects of character" (or learned behaviors) and organize any other notes we will need to speak our Step 5. We choose "another human Being" and ask them if they will work with us on Step 5. Book a time to begin our work.

Sit down with our "person" and begin to tell them our FEARS. We include a lot about our life as we get to the "nature" of our behaviors and fears. We choose wisely as to who this person will be as they will help us greatly with this Step.

Step 6: Working
We ask for help from our God. Looking at each FEAR that we have identified in Step 4 and 5 we ask ourselves, "am I entirely reading to have this FEAR removed?". Some we will be ready to have removed now - others we will be ready soon. It is important that we go over each FEAR and ask this - AM I READY?

Step 7: Working
Each day we humbly, in whatever way we pray, go slowly through our FEARS. We ask ourselves - What is each FEAR? Have i admitted it to another? Am I really, honestly ready to have it removed? And then, finally, I ask God to remove it if it is God's will.

Step 8: Working
We make a list of all the people I have harmed because of my FEARS. Most importantly I start to become ready to make amends to these people. I see now my part in what I have done in the exchange with them and am becoming willing to "own" my part and make amends for it. I see now that my behaviors have contributed to my "part" in all my relations and become willing to take responsibility for my part. Am I ready to make amends to most of the people?

Step 9: Working
We pray. I talk to my sponsor when I am in doubt. I make an appointment with and then travel to the people I have harmed because of my FEARS. I humbly approach these people and speak to them ONLY of MY PART of what has happened between us and the wrongs I HAVE DONE. I have a sense of my FEARS by this point in my work and I can see how these FEARS have caused me to harm others. I own these FEARS with these people and tell them how I have hurt them. I tell as well that I will not hurt them again in the same way. I then CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR to make sure i do not harm these people again.

Step 10: Working
IWe pray. I talk to my sponsor to get into this habit. At the end of each day i take account of the day. Where have I been FEARFUL and how how these FEARS affected others. I write down these incidents ready to make amends for them. I PAUSE. I think about these FEARS and the amends I need to make. I then make amends to this person. I make a habit of taking this personal inventory every day - aiming to change my behavior that creates these incidents.

Step 11: Working
We seek. We seek God and a connection to our Higher Power. We seek only to do God's will. That is the Way. We seek a greater and stronger connection to God as we have come to understand God. Each day we seek in our own way. Praying on our knees, practicing our faith as we may or in some other way that is us. The main thing is that we seek and keep seeking. Every day.

"God make me a channel of thy peace -- that where there is hatred, I may bring love -- that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness -- that where there is discord, I may bring harmony -- that where there is error, I may bring truth -- that where there is doubt, I may bring faith -- that where there is despair, I may bring hope -- that where there are shadows, I may bring light -- that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

God, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted -- to understand, than to be understood -- to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life..."

Step 12: Working

We try to live by these principals:
Accepting and solving problems | Anonymity | Change for the better | Clean house | Doing the right thing | Giving | Grow along spiritual lines | Honesty | Humility | Inclusiveness | Independence | Joy of good living | Kindness | Leadership in AA | Love | Open mindedness | Patience | Peace and harmony | Surrender | Tolerance | Trust in God | Willingness | Work with others.

We try and pass on what we have learned and how we are living.





Twelve-step programs

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery from addictioncompulsion, or other behavioral problems. Originally proposed by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) as a method of recovery from alcoholism,[1] the Twelve Steps were first published in the 1939 book Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism.[2] The method was adapted and became the foundation of other twelve-step programs.

As summarized by the American Psychological Association, the process involves the following:[1]

  • admitting that one cannot control one's alcoholism, addiction or compulsion;
  • recognizing a higher power that can give strength;
  • examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
  • making amends for these errors;
  • learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
  • helping others who suffer from the same alcoholism, addictions or compulsions.
  • more

FearLess Steps


Fear-Less.NetFEAR - Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. Fear in human beings may occur in response to a specific stimulus. - more